Bolanle is the first child of the late Chief Executive Officer of MIC Undertakers, Mr. Tunji Okusanya Snr. She talks about her father’s life with GBENGA ADENIJI
Give a brief profile of yourself.
I am Bolanle Okusanya-Feyita, the first child of the late Mr. Tunji Okusanya Snr. I attended Atlantic Hall Secondary School, Lagos and later moved to London for A/Level. I earned a degree in International Business from Imperial College, University of London and did master’s in Marketing Communications from the Westminster Business School. I am a make-up expert, educator, beauty editor and marketing communications specialist. I worked directly with my father for almost 20 years at MIC. I was responsible for all the company’s international business and relationship management.
Did he influence you on your career choice?
Yes he did. When I graduated from Imperial College, he was concerned that I was not working in an ‘office environment’ with a career-for-life approach. But then he came to realise that make-up artistry was my natural gift and I wanted to excel at it alongside communications. Most of my classmates or people with similar qualifications moved on to work in some sort of corporate organisations. I continued my career in make-up artistry and combined it with working fixed-term contracts in communications and business development. The first time I opened his rest room in his office after his death, it was just as he left it before the ill-fated flight. I saw several international magazines which he bought featuring my most recent works. He would often say to his children and other young people working hard to make meaning out of life, ‘I am proud of you, God will bless you.’
What memory of your growing up with him can you recall?
My father was very warm, generous and caring but a workaholic. He barely slept five hours a day. He took his work very personal and almost literally carried the burdens of the families he served. He determined to know our friends from when we were young and was approachable to them. Even at his funeral, many of my friends came from all over the world to pay their last respects because of their personal relationship with him. When he returned from the UK in the early 1980s, he worked with his father, late Pa Theophilus Oladipupo Okusanya, for many years at the then Magbamowo Industrial Company he ( his father) founded. The company started as a carpentry business making household furniture, church pews and coffins. My father developed the business and initially wanted to focus on interior decoration. He realised that he could do much more with funerals and he focused on making coffins. He started adding elements like the pall bearers, bands and hearses to cater for the needs of the bereaved. He started his own company which evolved into what is today known as MIC Royal Limited.
Considering his busy schedule then, how did he create time for his family?
He maximised the little time he had with the family. He would joke and make us laugh so much during the times we spent together. When we were younger, he took time to take us out once in a while, but he left the school/educational guidance to our mother. He was very generous, always buying us things as if to make up for his busy time. We had a culture of going out as a family once a month. We would dine when we were out or visit an entertainment spot.
How did he relax when he was at home?
My father loved music and had many musical bands as part of MIC. He helped to develop the talent of many gifted musicians. He listened to gospel, classical and jazz music. He also enjoyed watching cartoons.
What values did he teach you?
My father taught me the values of diligence, ingenuity and creativity. He urged us to be visionary and live peaceably with as many people as possible. He also encouraged us not to bear grudges. My late younger brother Tunji Jnr. started working with my father when he was about 10 or 11 years old. My father believed in education, hard work, excellence and that one should think outside the box. He was highly resourceful and God rewarded his efforts by making him the benchmark in the Nigerian funeral industry.
How has his name helped when people know you are his child?
First, my striking resemblance to him used to annoy me as a teenager. Even when I went to school abroad, there were so many instances when people would stop me on the street to ask whether or not I was Tunji Okusanya’s daughter. I look more like him than my other siblings but being a female with the use of make-up, jewellery, hair make and so on over time, my look has ‘softened.’ People are warm and always talk about how nice he was to them at one time or the other. They always want to pray for me and to help.
What are the values your father held dear?
He was passionate about education. He was humble, diligent and respectful. He loved going the extra mile for his clients. He could call someone four times to thank them for the same help they rendered. My dad was extremely respectful, quick to greet with his head bowed and hands behind him, even to people much younger than him. He would introduce himself to people young and old as Tunji. If it was work related, he would always say, “my name is Tunji and I work for MIC.’’ He also believed strongly in improving oneself but also in developing other people and helping them to be their best. Like my grandfather, he mentored and trained so many people. It is true today that the majority of those in the funeral industry have their roots in MIC. He was always excited to see other undertakers doing well.
How did he handle misunderstanding with your mother?
My dad met and got married to my mother, Mobola Erogbogbo, when they were young students in England. He was always the first to apologise, although he might repeat the same thing. My dad was not famous then and their relationship had a very strong foundation in friendship. They were fond of each other. That friendship continued until the very end. They remained very good friends, even after their separation. Everyone who knew my father personally as Tunji, outside of being Mr. Tunji MIC admired this. Their separation was very civilized and they tried to keep the disruption to our lives minimal. It made him closer to us in some ways. As we did not see him as much because we lived with our mother, every time we spent with him was very precious to him.
Do you have any feelings about his being an undertaker?
My dad started working with my grandfather when I was a toddler so I have always known him as an undertaker. Both my parents are creative people; my mother is a water garden expert so I can say both of them are unconventional. To be honest, I played it down as I grew older and my father became more famous. I was proud of him and his achievements but I always wanted people to know me for who I am, not as MIC’s daughter. Thus, many people I have known for years just found out the link to my father after he died. People would get really curious about whether or not he had any special power or something and we always laughed about that. My father was a devoted Christian that fasted and prayed often. He always said ‘anything that cannot talk has no power over you so there is no reason to be scared of the dead.’ He taught us early not to fear death since everyone is going to die someday. Being an undertaker’s daughter has made me even more confident and compassionate. It has also has given me a better understanding of how to support those grieving.
Did you ever go with him to any burial ceremony?
Yes, I went with him to several burial ceremonies from my student days. It prepared me to manage everything when he died suddenly. Being close to the business assisted me in planning his funeral and my brother’s at the same time. I was suddenly tasked with organising two of the most important funerals in my life within a few weeks. My father often talked about when he would die. In fact, the last time I saw him, a few weeks before he died, he said he was sure I would return to Nigeria when he passed on. I ignored the statement. In my mind, I just thought this man has started talking casually about what would happen when he died. I always thought that when my father died, his funeral and legacy would be something I would shoulder with my late brother. My other siblings are much younger. I know God worked everything out for our good. I didn’t think my life would change that suddenly. I assumed I would just continue working on the international side of the business in the event that my father dies, as usual.
Which of the burial events he handled was the most memorable to you and why?
Many of them for different reasons but I remember that of Pastor Bimbo Odukoya because I worship in Fountain of Life whenever I am in Nigeria. Her death was a shock. I was so disheartened. My dad consoled me and encouraged me to look at a funeral as a celebration of life. He advised us to live our lives well and do all we can to serve God because we don’t know when we will breathe our last.
Who were your father’s friends?
He had many friends from all walks of life. My father was friendly but not overtly familiar. His friends ranged from the rich, well-respected, the poor, people with disabilities to the young and old. He had several friends he knew from his youthful days and those he made in recent times. They are numerous and I wouldn’t want to upset anyone by inadvertently leaving them out while trying to mention names.
How did he enforce discipline on any of his children who misbehaved?
He never used the cane. My father hardly raised his voice on us. My mother was the strict one then. He had one awkward way of looking at any child who misbehaved. The only time my father ever smacked me was when I was about seven or eight years old. He thought I had gone missing. I went to plait my hair nearby and as there was no space in the regular place I went, I decided to go to another place without telling anyone. I didn’t realise everyone was looking for me. When I returned home, he was very upset but happy that I was safe.
How do you feel being a daughter to him?
I am privileged to be his first child and daughter. He was not only my father but also my friend. I was his confidant. I admired his ability to relate well with people irrespective of their status. Every job was important to him, whether he was burying a president’s father or a poor orphan.
What was his favourite meal?
He loved rice and stew. He loved chocolates too but ate them occasionally.
Did he have any special mode of dressing?
My father loved black because of his work. He had excellent yet simple taste. He loved good things and always preferred quality over quantity. He was proud of being a Nigerian and owned typical outfits of every ethnic group. He was stylish and always impeccably dressed. He always made sure we looked after whatever we own well. He used to tell us that he had two pairs of trousers as a student in the UK, one black and one brown. He said he looked after them well and they lasted for a long time.
What was his schedule like?
He had a very tight schedule. He worked from dawn to late night. Looking back, I think he was consumed with serving people, making sure sorrow did not overwhelm his clients and also constantly looking at ways to improve his products, services and workers. He considered himself a carpenter at heart so he was always creating new designs and processes for making the best caskets.
How close were you to him?
We were very close. The fact that I lived in London did not create a gulf between us. Anytime I came home, he would leave work and come to see me within a few hours. We used to talk on the phone four or five times daily for five or six times weekly. We always had something to talk about. Most people around me used to laugh that a few hours would not go by without my dad calling me. My late brother and my father were extremely close too. As a trio, we had worked on several projects together. My father was beginning to give a lot more responsibility to my brother as he grew older. The three of us were working on developing the business and taking it to the next level.
How sociable was he?
He was such a lively person that there was not a dull moment with him. In the last 10 years however, he cut down on social events outside work and only accepted invitations from very close people or events related to the church.
Where were you when he died?
I was at home in London and my mother was visiting. She arrived from Nigeria the night before and we spoke to my father and brother that evening. I just put on the TV and saw ‘Breaking news: Plane crash in Nigeria,’ then I started calling and found out it was the plane my family members were on.
What was your first reaction when you heard of his death?
My mother screamed and I tried to calm her down. She kept on saying, “These are people I spoke with a few hours ago!” We had all chatted the night before. Immediately, we prayed and committed the situation to God’s hands. Within minutes, our phones couldn’t stop ringing, and then family members, friends and sympathisers began to visit.
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