Kive is a son of a former Secretary-General of the Nigeria Union of Petroleum and Natural Gas Workers, Chief Frank Kokori. He talks about his father with GBENGA ADENIJI
Give a brief profile of yourself.
My name is Kive Kokori, the fourth child of Chief Frank Kokori. I am an independent information technology consultant. I have been on several IT projects with major multinationals and world class consulting firms. I am a partner in a real estate consulting firm. I am also involved in human rights activities.
Did your father encourage you or your siblings on their career choices?
In all honesty, my dad was not involved in my career choice or that of my siblings. I think he was too involved in fighting for the betterment and progress of the oil workers and by extension the Nigerian masses to pay much attention to our career choices. That does not mean that if I had any cause to go to him for advice regarding my career he won’t offer it. He surely would. But he won’t go out to influence anything. He trained us to go out and struggle for ourselves. I have realised that part of the price one pays for being the child of an activist is that one will get divided attention. I am used to such now.
What memory of your growing up years with him can you recall?
I find it really hard to recount past experiences. That is one quality I did not pick up from my dad, unlike me, he is a storyteller. He can recount past events like they just happened. That was very evident in his recent book titled, Frank Kokori – The Struggle for June 12. But there are two incidents that I can never forget. I usually laugh whenever I recall them. The first happened when I was in the university. I was what you could refer to as a night crawler at that period of my life while my siblings were not like that. On this fateful day, I returned home close to midnight.
Upon arrival, I was told that my father said I should see him. I went upstairs to meet him in his living room. On getting there, he was seated with my mother who normally would be asleep at that time. I stood before my father with hands clasped behind my back expecting the worse. He just looked at me and said, “I am still finding it hard to understand your nocturnal outings. If you were not my son, I would have said you are an armed robber.”
The second incident happened around 1988/1989. He was then a member of the Constituent Assembly in Abuja. My mother, sister, Onome, and my brother, Efe and I paid him a visit in Abuja. While in his official apartment on this particular evening, a fellow member of the assembly who was his friend came to visit him. I cannot remember his name but I remember my father called him Alhaji. I am sure the Alhaji did not know we were around before visiting because in those days, there were no mobile phones. He was accompanied by two gorgeous ladies and I did not take notice since I was young then. My mother entertained all the visitors. But immediately they left, she confronted my father, requesting to know who the ladies that came with Alhaji were. I was amazed and impressed at my father’s response. In a very calm manner, he said, “You mean those ladies? They are Alhaji’s fans.” My mother could not help but to burst into laughter, I bet she was not expecting that response. What ordinarily would have been a heated argument was turned into a joke by my father.
Considering his busy nature then, how did he create time for his family?
My father was an extremely busy man while I was growing up. He travelled a lot within and outside the country on official duties. Whenever he was in town, he usually spent time with us after work. We all stayed together in the living room to discuss. We had hearty laughs during the conversations. In the evenings, he would buy some refreshments like suya for the family.
Did he take his family out?
He did take us out once in a while but maybe not as often as I would have preferred. He is not someone I will refer to as a socialite. By that, I mean he does not really like attending parties or hanging out except when it is extremely necessary. Maybe that part of him was the reason why he did not take us out that often apart from occasional visits to the beach or amusement parks.
How does he relax when he is at home?
Relaxation for my father when he is at home is mainly reading newspapers and watching the TV. He likes watching mainly news channels both local and international. He also likes discussing with members of his family and those who come to visit him. He is a funny man actually.
What are the values you have imbibed from him?
I have imbibed many values from my dad. I can boldly say that he is one of the most honest and principled Nigerians. He will rather die than go contrary to his values and beliefs. Although one has to be flexible these days (laughs). I have learnt the values of honesty and selflessness among others from him. If one comes to my father and talks about another person to him, he will confront the person being reported to find out the truth. He does not like people who gossip. One thing I know my father will not accept or encourage is cheating in any form. It does not matter who is involved, not even if it involves a member of his family. He will always stand on the side of truth. I remember while growing up, if any of us had a disagreement with any of the domestic workers, he would mediate in the fairest manner possible. My father would openly support the worker if he or she was right. He believes everyone should have equal rights. This attitude of his made me to know from an early age that I have to work to get anything on merit.
How has his name helped you when people know you are his child?
I think the question should be ‘how has his name not helped me?’ To be candid, my father’s name only makes people curious to meet me. People usually say nice things about him to me, praising his good deeds. If one can call that help, then I will say that is how much his name has helped me when people know I am his son. Unfortunately, we live in a time in Nigeria where mediocrity is celebrated. A time that principled and honest people are seen as abnormal beings and are not appreciated. The value system has been fed to the dogs. Most of our people don’t want to do business with anyone they perceive as honest. Therefore, being the son of Frank Kokori has not been much of an advantage economically because most Nigerians don’t want to do business with someone they believe will not agree to ‘sharing’ the money. I have had such experiences.
How does he handle misunderstandings with your mother?
When I was young, I remember that they sometimes had a shouting match but as I grew older, such was almost non-existent. They handle their misunderstandings in a very mature manner without raised voices.
How do you feel each time he expresses his displeasure about the state of the country?
I always feel his pain knowing how passionate he is about Nigeria and how much he has sacrificed to make the country one where justice and equity thrives. He has lived the better part of his life fighting for justice and equitable distribution of the commonwealth of our country. He has refused most of life’s pleasures just to see that things are put right for everyone. Seeing that our beloved country still keeps deteriorating makes me sad. I am even sadder to see the generality of the downtrodden Nigerians accepting the callous and reckless way the country is being run without a whimper. The majority of Nigerians now see wrong as right because of the continuous years of bad leadership. I suppose Nigeria may be having the leaders she deserves as a nation because they say the leadership of a country is a reflection of its people. Until we summon the courage to revolt and say enough to bad leadership and corruption, these charlatans will continue to plunge our great nation and its vast resources down the drain. We need to stop voting people into public office on religious, ethnic and other myopic sentiments. Each time my father expresses his displeasure about the state of Nigeria, I always tell him that the part he has played is noble and he will be remembered for being on the good side of history.
Who are your father’s friends?
My father does not really keep many friends, aside from his political and labour friends. I will say Joseph Akinlaja, Aremo Olusegun Osoba and Chief Great Ogboru are some of his friends.
How did he enforce discipline on any of his children who misbehaved?
When I was growing up, he was a disciplinarian. He did not spare the rod although not to the point of child abuse. He used the cane and gave corporal punishment every once in a while. But I will say that he is lucky because we hardly got into trouble. We did not flout our parents’ orders. As we grew older, he stopped using the cane entirely and would rather scold us verbally. He had called me into his room a few times to ‘lecture’ me as a child.
How did his family cope when he was involved in the struggle against dictatorship?
The good thing was that he raised us in a way that we understood what he stood for and supported him. Notwithstanding, the fact that he was the breadwinner made the period pretty tough. The toughest time being the June 12 struggle. During that period, our lives were under watch daily. Security operatives laid siege to our home and it was searched at odd hours. It was a major challenge financially especially when he was incarcerated for about four years. I gained admission into the university during the period, hence, one could imagine how tough it was for me. His first grandchild, Deedat, was born during the period. We thank God for our mother who stood firm during the period with huge support from the late Adewale Thompson who we are eternally grateful to.
How do you feel being his son?
I feel extremely proud being his son even though he is not a very wealthy man in monetary terms. He could have easily become a billionaire if he chose the part of dishonour. He did not use his office to enrich himself as some did. He believes that a good name is more precious than silver or gold.
What is his favourite meal?
I think my father’s favourite meal is rice and fried plantain. Since I have known him, that meal has been constant on his menu. He usually eats a certain meal often for a period and then changes to something else after a while.
Does he have any special mode of dressing?
When I was young, I saw my father in different coloured safari suits, babanriga or agbada, kaftan, shirt and trousers, suits and so on. Gradually, he evolved into wearing mainly white kaftan with a black velvet hat which has become his trademark.
What is his schedule like?
In the past, he kept a tight schedule being a labour leader and a politician. Now, his schedule is lighter because he is now over 70 years old and retired. He is still involved in politics but people only consult him now as an elder statesman. Usually now he wakes up in the morning, takes his bath, eats breakfast and attends to the business of the day. He does have activities that still require him to travel from time to time.
How close are you to him?
I am quite close to my father in the sense that I can discuss anything with him. I also offer him my opinion on issues when the need arises. Although I don’t think I can get him to bend against his principles.
How sociable is he?
My father is very sociable especially if it is labour and politics related. He is not a party person. He will only attend such event if the host is a close person or if he has a vital role to play there.
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