Bikiya, one of the daughters of Alabo Tonye Graham-Douglas, tells ARUKAINO UMUKORO about her father and his lifestyle
Can you please introduce yourself?
My name is Bikiya Graham-Douglas, the tenth child of Alabo Tonye Graham-Douglas. I am an award-winning actress, a producer and singer.
How was it like growing up with your father?
It’s the way every child grows up with their father. That he is a public figure doesn’t change the fact that he is a father. He is a public figure because he is somebody who has always wanted to serve his people and nation and he is achieving that, but this doesn’t get in the way at all. He’s still our father.
How is it like being the daughter of such a famous Nigerian?
He is somebody people always treat with reverence. People stand up when he walks in. If you meet my father, you would know that he is a man who commands respect and has charisma. He is very charming. He is a leader. While growing up, whenever we went out with him, people would respond to him by jumping around him. Sometimes, it made me laugh, because I’m like, he’s just my daddy, and all these people are responding to him this way. But now that I’m grown up and I am in the spotlight, sometimes, I go to places and get those sorts of responses. It’s still a bit strange but I understand better now. People held and still hold my father in high esteem because of what he has done, his service to the nation and his achievements.
What are the values you learnt from him?
One thing that my parents, not just my dad, taught me, is that a good name is always better than money. They taught us their children hard work and because they are achievers in their chosen fields and respected in the country, there is more pressure us as their children to do well. One is not trying to fill their shoes, but one wants to wear one’s own shoes and they have to be positive shoes. Also, there is a lot of pressure to succeed, because a lot of time, people do not expect anything less when one comes from such a privileged background. I’ve had to deal with that too. My parents always said to me that no one would hand anything to you freely in life, if one wants something; one has to work hard to get it. My father did not just sit down to become an elder statesman that he is today. He worked hard to achieve that; the same applies to my mother. They also taught us never to look down on people. I thank God I have parents like them. My father always picks up a call, even if he is not familiar with the number. Both of them give people a chance to speak to them. They also give everyone equal opportunity.
How did he discipline his children when they erred?
My dad did not use the cane to discipline us when we were younger. The only thing he did to discipline us was to use his two fingers to smack us on our palms. For me, that was like a big thing because he never did that. Normally, he would give you a hard look and scold you. And my father speaks a lot of English. By the time he talks to you and uses words that you have to go and look up in the dictionary, and you find out their meanings, you realise that you don’t want to get into his bad books. My mum was more of the disciplinarian; the fear of my mum was the beginning of wisdom (laughs).
What are his hobbies?
He likes reading, watching movies and travelling. Those are things my father really enjoys.
What movies did you watch with him recently?
The Godfather. He can watch The Godfather over and over again. He loves Al Pacino’s movies. He’s a big movie fan.
What are your dad’s likes and dislikes?
He dislikes dishonesty. He can’t deal with dishonest people. No matter how bad a situation is, he would always want one to be plain with him and tell him how it is and then he would find a solution. My dad doesn’t like people who laze around. He believes that one must work hard to achieve anything. My dad likes family and he is very passionate about his children. I know he adores us very much and we adore him too. We have a very good relationship and he is very open with us. He took us to the theatre a lot when we were younger. That was where my interest in acting came from. He gave me the confidence to be my own person and gave us the freedom to air our views. He would call me to ask about my welfare and to tell me how much he loves me. He’s really funny too. He likes to tell a lot of jokes. Sometimes, one doesn’t expect him to notice some things but he would. He has a very good sense of humour. That’s not to say we’ve not had our differences because he is a very strong personality, like I am. Every family has its challenges, but at the end of the day, there is a lot of love underneath and I know he always wants the best for us.
Being a busy politician, how did he create time for his family?
To be honest, he was away a lot but he created time for his family. When you have parents who are public figures, they are not just your parents, they also become parents of the people and you have to realise that. When I was younger, I got upset sometimes when I heard people calling my dad ‘dad’ and my mum ‘mum’. I would be like, ‘they are not your parents, they are mine.’ But my parents prioritised and knew when it was family time, if they had to turn up in school or had to be there for us. Sometimes, we had to do things together as a family. So, he created time for us. Sometimes, he could be away for a long time, but he always made sure he called to check up on us. My mum was able to balance a lot of things each time he was away. For my parents, education is not just about academia, but culture too. They understand the importance of broadening one’s mind. Dad would always create time to teach us things that did not have to do with school. He also taught us about theatre, museum and so on. He introduced us to different kinds of foods and cultures around the world.
Is any of your siblings into politics like your dad?
Yes. One of my brothers is into politics at the moment. He serves with the governor of our home state (Rivers).
Are you planning to go into politics yourself?
Why do people keep asking me that question? To be honest, I don’t know.
How is your dad’s relationship with your mum?
My parents have a very cordial and respectful relationship. I would say they are like-minds and they are both very intelligent people. My mum used to be the Secretary to the State Government of Bayelsa State and the President of the National Council of Women Society. Like my dad, she is a public servant. She has worked in the civil service for a long time. They have a lot of mutual understanding and similar values.
What’s your dad’s daily routine like?
When my dad wakes up in the morning, he says his prayers, takes a bath, then checks up on everyone. There are 12 of us. But if we are there, we would always have breakfast together. My father is not a man who can eat a meal alone. He doesn’t. From when I was a young child, every meal at home has been a feast. There are always people at breakfast, lunch and dinner. He loves to gather people together. He loves family. He is there always attending to people’s problems. He listens and receives a lot of visitors. He goes for his meetings when he has them. When he doesn’t have meetings, he is home. He likes to read and he loves to watch movies too.
As a minister under the administration of former President Olusegun Obasanjo, has your father ever shared with you his time in politics and what he thinks about Nigeria?
Yes. He likes talking about Nigeria. He is very passionate about Nigeria and has seen Nigeria change so much. There are a lot of things he is not happy about and wishes would change. He wants people to be more comfortable and for the country to be more of an enabling environment for people to strive and achieve. He has aspirations about Nigeria and he does share them. He believes that for the country to work as a whole, it has to be a shared responsibility between the government and the people.
How has he been able to stay off controversies as a politician?
I would not say he has not had controversial moments, but he is a sort of person who likes to watch and see what happens before he speaks. He is not somebody who anybody can easily bend, if he believes in something, he stands by it. And I think with his experience over so many years, he’s learnt how to deal with politics. As in everything one gets into, he has had his challenges, but the more one is involved in something, the more one learns to overcome the challenges in that thing. I would say that there has not been any outcry or controversial issue about what my dad has done, but there have been things that have happened along the way that his experience and the person that he is have helped him to deal with. As long as it’s for the people, he would always stand by what is best for the people.
What is his favourite food?
He does not have a favourite food but he loves plantain porridge.
What do you think should be his legacy?
I think my father would always be remembered as a honest man who served his country well.Copyright PUNCH.
All rights reserved. This material, and other digital content on this website, may not be reproduced, published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in whole or in part without prior express written permission from PUNCH.
Contact: editor@punchng.com