CharlyBoy is a son of the late Justice Chukwudifu Oputa (retd). He speaks about fond memories of his late father with KAYODE FALADE
What is your position in the nuclear family of Justice Oputa?
I used to be in the middle but my elder brother Michael and my elder sister Charlotte have passed on. It’s just me and my two kid brothers left, Edward and George.
How was growing up with your father like?
What I remember most about growing up in the early 50’s in Port Harcourt, was the non-stop party in our house. Everyday to me then was like Christmas, dad and mum used to like dancing a lot.There was constant flow of human traffic in our house then. I didn’t like my father that much, I wrote him off as an overbearing, harsh, insensitive, rigid, strict and wicked man. I was convinced that I wasn’t his favourite. I was the one that got punished the most. My dad did not spear the rod when it came to putting me in check. My mum was my favourite. With her I could get away with murder. She would always accuse my friends of misleading me. I used to avoid my father because he was always whipping me as I was always busy being naughty. I didn’t get along with my father that much. But all that changed some 27 years ago.
How was it like being the son of such a famous jurist?
As Mr. Charles Emeka Oputa, I am indeed humbled and proud to have come from such rich heritage of famous people. As CharlyBoy, I am glad I turned the famous jurist not only into a CharlyBoy lover/fan but a disciple and an advocate of CharlyBoyisim, before I kissed him goodnight. Almost everyone knows the story of how I won the respect of this great man for the last 27 years. When my father publicly owned up to how proud I have made him, I knew there was no looking back. We became good friends, with tremendous mutual respect for each other. Yes, I converted my worst critic into a staunch believer. Now, that’s no moi moi(Bean cake).
Many Nigerians know him as the revered legal luminary. Was Justice Oputa the legal icon different from the man and father?
My father was a very special man. On the bench, he was the Socrates, his judgments were very profound. I was somewhat a bit jealous of him, because in the beginning of building the brand CharlyBoy, everyone just disturbed me with how so special my father was, as if I wasn’t special myself. As a father, I learnt from him how to keep your family together and how to stay committed to your wife. Since childhood till he passed on, my father was always lovey dovey with my mum.When he wasn’t kissing her, he was holding her hand. Seeing both of them challenged me to always work on my 37-year-old marriage. He was a loving husband and father. I thank God we shared so much together before he passed on.
Our fathers carry half of our genetic makeup. Our relationship with our fathers plays a huge part of who we will become. In many segments of society, people grow up without knowing their fathers. This is unfortunate because fathers should play as important a role in raising their children as mothers. A father is the model of a man for his daughter and she will choose a man who is like him. A father is the model for his son as well. Fortunately, my father was very active in my life.
How close were you to him and what are the values you learnt from him?
I was brought up on an overdose of morals, value and life principles. Initially we were not that close, especially when I set out on my own to build the brand we all know as CharlyBoy. Things fell apart. But with my tenacity, consistency, doggedness, ruggedness and tremendous focus, I won him over. From then on, we more or less became inseparable. I learnt from him how to say what I mean and mean what I say. I learnt from him how to be a good friend to my children too. I learnt from him how to take care and remain loyal to my wife. My father really taught me so much, but most importantly, I learnt from him how to stay content with life. An apple can’t fall too far from its tree, can it? I also learnt from my father that, being a good person doesn’t depend on your religion or status in your life, your race or skin colour, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.
Was he a disciplinarian and how did he discipline his children when they went wrong?
Was he a disciplinarian? Are you serious? I used to think my father was a bully. He was always flogging me, punishing me for one thing or the other. Even before he became a judge, our house was like a court room. He was the judge, the jury, the persecutor. Naturally I never won any case with him. My other siblings were always in his good books except me.Naturally I felt he loved me less. I never for one day saw him punish the rest, just me. I admit I was always getting into trouble, but it was as if he looked for every opportunity to deal with me.
Did your father influence any of his children to follow his footsteps in law ?
In all fairness to him, he didn’t tell anyone of us what to study. We had that kind of liberty in our home. Only my kid brother, George I Oputa, went daddy’s way. However that is not to say he didn’t wish it. He always called me a pocket lawyer, because we were always encouraged to speak out, since my teen life, I was always encouraged to ask questions and take responsibility for my action or inactions. That was the setting of my journey to the now.
Several times in the past, you have mentioned that it took some time to get your father to accept what you were doing and who you are. What really happened and how were you able to win him over?
Good parentS must feel some measure of concern for the future of their child. That’s given. My father was only concerned because he didn’t or couldn’t see how I would have a stable financial and secured future, venturing into entertainment. To him then, it was like I was being irresponsible and throwing my life away. After all he made sure that there was a job waiting for me in Mobil when I came back from the US after my five years’ sojourn. Of course, he was disappointed that I had other “frivolous” ideas. I know it was my determination, tenacity, my consistency my doggedness that won him over. Every time I reminded him about him being a non-believer, he would say, “parents are not God, they can make mistakes too.’’
How was his social life like?
In the 50’s and early 60’s when he was one of the most sort after lawyers in Nigeria, he was constantly in the public and the public was in and out of our house. As soon as he was made a judge, the family’s lifestyle changed drastically. My father overnight became an introvert. He always told us that the life of a judge must be somewhat an isolated one. “You cannot be seen here and there, what if they showed up before you in court?” is it any wonder how he was one of the very few incorruptible judges around. He was high on integrity, a quality that is not only out of fashion, but doesn’t resonate with the mind-set of the day. He didn’t have many friends though he was very friendly. My father lived an exemplary life, he walked his talk.
What are some of the fondest memories you have of your father?
They are so many. I have memories that will last me for the rest of my life, very good ones. I am happy I took care of him and my mum the way I did. For eight years, they lived with me in Abuja. Together, we went to all the comedy shows, musical shows, our morning walks, to the parks, even at age 94, he had been on my bike. I gave him so many rides on my bike. I can’t forget our usual intellectual intercourse, our provoking discussions, most evenings, from sex to politics to religion and what have you? He always wanted to get involved with some of my community work. We brainstormed on a lot of levels, he was like my partner. I know my daddy passed on a happy man; he showed me and told me that in a lot of ways. For me I am happy. That is why I insist on people congratulating me, not sympathising with me. Justice Oputa had given so much to Nigeria. After all he gave this nation CharlyBoy. We will celebrate a man who lived a good life.
Your father headed the famous Oputa panel. What are some of the things he said about the panel and the country’s future after its conclusion?
As far as he was concerned, he had done his work and done it to the best of his ability, it was up to the people who engaged him to know what they want to do with it. However, he wasn’t so happy that most of the commission’s recommendations were not implemented. It’s like sending someone on a wild goose chase. But, I have a different mind-set about it all. It was the Truth and Reconciliation Panel and in a roundabout way, it opened our eyes to all the atrocities of the past. It got people talking, which was a good thing.
What was his favourite food?
My dad was like me, he would taste anything that looked tasty. We are really not fussy about what we eat, but he liked semovita with nsala stew. I think that was his favourite.
What were your dad’s hobbies, likes and dislikes?
He always told me about his military training at Achimota High School in Ghana. He was into sports at the time.He loved table tennis and soccer. As a teenager, I played a lot of table tennis with my father. That was the only time we were not quarrelling about something. His dislikes? Children who didn’t follow his orders, my father was like the drill master.
How did he act whenever he was angry?
Oh my God! He would flog the daylight out of me. He was quick with the cane till I became immune to the pain of his cane, then he resorted to using his hand, till the day I feigned I was dead after one of his beatings. I think that was the last time he raised his hands on me. I was about 16 years old. He believed that my rascality would hinder my bright future. But I thank God he was hard on me like that, or else who knows? Some of those qualities he constantly preached about that I rebelled against are the same qualities that guide my life today.
How much time did he create for his family?
Like I said, before he became a judge, we hardly saw him. He was all over the place; he was also a big-time player. But after he was made a judge, he had so much time for the family. I didn’t like it personally, because from then, his eyes were on me. Everything I did was scrutinised with a microscope. That was when he started taking me on extra classes, stuffing my head with poetry, Shakespeare and all things literature. Even in elementary school, it was cramming, cramming all the way. My father used to be a teacher before he became a lawyer.
Can you recall his last day on earth?
He died in my house, too bad it wasn’t in my arms. After the hospital stabilised him, we were advised by the doctors to take him home and give him the care he needed to nurse him back to life. But I knew that age was not on his side. My father was over 96years. On Sunday, May 4, I went down to his quarters to see him. He had not been eating properly. As I went on my usual round to see him and crack a few jokes, I noticed he was unusually weak. As soon as I entered his room, he beckoned on me to come. I bent over to kiss his forehead and he said to me “ I am sorry Charles.” I asked what for? I couldn’t imagine that with his state of health, all my father was thinking about was all the money I was spending to give him the best care and how emotionally drained I was getting. At that point I just laughed and said to him, “Daddy get well soon so that I won’t send you a bill you cannot pay.” I asked the nurse to give him his bath, while I went to do same and return to feed him myself. I was just getting dressed after my bath when the nurse called the intercom and asked me to come down quickly. At that point, I knew what I had been getting myself ready for, had finally happened. I thank God that I not only spent quality time with him, we became almost inseparable.
How has the Oputa family coped since his passing on?
God has been kind. I thought my mum was going to flip but after the first day we told her, I saw a woman of strength. I had no choice but to hold it together for the sake of the family. My mum has been a pillar emotionally for us all. It’s been overwhelming sometimes, but I am equal to this great task ahead and I know, heads or tail, I will make my daddy so proud.
What do you miss most about your dad?
Our provoking discussions, our bike rides, his role in some of my community projects and the quiet times we spent together. My father later became my hero, the out pour of love so far, has reassured me why I must walk on the straight and narrow path like my father. Because the name Oputa, is sacred and smarts of integrity.
What are some of the things Nigerians don’t know about your father?
Nigerians surprisingly know a whole lot about my dad. That he was a honest man, upright, had integrity, lived a simple and contented life. He lived by the golden rule and treated others with respect. But no one can know what a good father he was, to me and my siblings. How he adored and worshipped my mum.
What can you share about your parents’ marriage?
My marriage has been modelled after my parents’. I thank God that I grew up watching my mum and dad for over 60 years. My father was totally committed to the relationship with my mum; hence they lived together for almost 70 years.
What should Nigerian leaders learn from your late father?
Humility, simplicity, integrity, honesty, class, sincerity and love for the people you lead.
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